Okay today something hit me like a ton of bricks: I seem to do more for almost complete strangers than for my own family, especially my husband Nathen. In the last year I've volunteered my time to great and worthy causes, and have taken on an attitude of service, you know showing Jesus' love to others. Well today as I was getting a sympathy card for someone I went to high school with (someone that wasn't even really a close friend and have not seen in over 15 years) who lost a friend to suicide; while I was looking for a card I thought of the last time I got my own husband a card...and sadly I can't remember. Earlier I had signed up Aiden for a church preschool fun day, this after a morning in which he made it blaringly clear that he needs more time with me (the fun day is a drop off type situation), I later emailed the children's ministry director and asked to volunteer in Aiden's group so I could help out while spending time with him. I really feel God leading me in so many different directions of service, whether it be preparing meals for someone who recently had a baby, mentoring teen girls, reaching out to an old high school friend who may not know the Lord, and doing nursery at church. But today God laid it on my heart that people in my own home need me more right now than maybe some of the other people I'm reaching out towards. So how do we find the balance of service, spreading Jesus' love to non believers and not neglecting our own families? I'm really struggling on finding a balance and being honest with myself I think I take Nathen for granted so much of the time, I know he's always going to be there, goes to church with me, and is a Christian, but the reality of it is he needs his wife to put him 1st on her human priority list (of course God is #1). So this is what I'm striving towards is making sure my husband is happy, content, and needs met before running off to try to save the world. Now I'm going to go ahead and follow through on my plans with my high school acquaintance and send a card and book on grief and loss, because I know this is what God wants me to do. And will complete my mentoring responsibilities with my teen girls because its just one more week. But before I jump into more service opportunities outside of my own house I'm going to pray for guidance, talk to my family, and really analyze before making a decision that may result in my families needs being neglected.
Now I know this is kind of a heavy topic, and you may be wondering, Sarah, what is going on are Nathen and the boys okay? And yes everything is fine, just need to get my priorities straight and I've found journaling is a great way for me to get answers to my questions. Finding a balance is possible if I just slow down and pray and talk to the people that mean the most to me, my family.
